Does your office need some shaking up?
Are you co-workers too staid? Devoid of a sense of humor? Maybe NOW is the time to inject some levity into
the workplace. Try these suggestions to increase the comradery in your office -- or increase your chance of
collecting unemployment checks.
ONE POINT DARES
- Run one lap around the office at top speed.
- Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
- Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
- Walk sideways to the photocopier.
- While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
THREE POINT DARES
- Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
- Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
- Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light
switch on/off 10 times.
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
- While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
- In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights". (Extra points if it is a male, even
more if he is your boss)
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
- Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
- Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
- Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
- Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone
points it out.
- After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this
up for one hour.
- Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
- During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
- Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of
their real-life counterparts.
MASTER LEVEL DARES
- At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".
- Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the
national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, darn it, all of
you just shut up!".