Has the world gotten to you, driven you crazy?

Now you can give some of that insanity back. Here are twenty suggestions:

• At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
• Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Put your trash bin on your desk and label it "IN."
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."
• Dont use any punctuation
• Use, too...much; punctuation!
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
• Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
• Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name.
• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won! 3rd time this week!!!"
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
• In the memo field of all your checks, write "For smuggling diamonds".
• Order diet water when you go out to eat (keep a serious face while doing so).